Lovely Bad Things by Trisha Wolfe

Lately, I've started venturing into the dark romance genre in an effort to read more. I'm convinced it is a genre I should like, but I've yet to find a book/author that I resonate with.

Needless to say, this book wasn't the one for me.

Halen is a private investigator specialized in profiling murderers. She puts Kallum, philosophy professor and presumed serial killer, behind bars (well, in a mental hospital). Six months later, Halen seeks the help of Kallum to find a serial killer that seemed linked to philosophy.

Inspiration

If you're at all familiar with the Hannibal book series (or its adaptations), this synopsis might ring a bell. I've seen Halen's and Kallum's relationship compared to Clarice and Hannibal's relationship, but I think it's closer to that of Will and Hannibal from the TV show (based on the fact that Halen meets Kallum before his arrest and everything about her dark reveal and memory losses). In any case, this is the sort of vibes I was looking for, and it's based on that resemblance that I'd seen it recommended.

Dynamic

I'm a BIG fan of this kind of dynamic: the caged monster and the detective pulled into their orbit. The material (literal bars) and moral barriers between them often means the relationship (whatever form it takes) must be based on something more intellectual than strictly physical. It is not the case here. They do talk a lot about philosophy, and despite suffering through two years of philosophy classes, it's not something I ever cared about, so I can't say if they're completely bullshitting or they're actually saying interesting things. From what I do know, it definitely feels like bullshitting. I don't really consider that a negative point, however: i love anime-level bullshit philosophy. As long as it's compelling, I can excuse anything.

This wasn't very compelling.

Can you guys calm down?

Both characters are extremely horny, they make it known very quickly and they do not shut up about it. It would have been tolerable if we only had Halen's POV, but no: as with so many romances these days, this book has a dual POV. And as with so many romances with a dual POV, the male POV is insufferable. I do not understand why so many romance's authors choose to give us this POV when it's 90% lust and 10% things that we could already infer from the other POV. It sucks away all the mystery from characters that only had that going on for them.

The beginning of the book was promising, if a bit quick. The lust was overwhelming, but it was contained in thoughts and some touches—which is perfect to create tension, even if it was a bit too much too fast.

But as soon as they really started to fuck, I completely checked out. And there was still a good third of the book to read. This last part was honestly a chore to get through (thank fuck this book is not that long). I couldn't even care for the twist, even though I love when a female character is as fucked up as her love interest. I just wanted this book to be over.

The open end was probably meant to make me want to read what comes next, but frankly, I've read more than enough. And all I can say is that I'm pretty disappointed.

The Legend of Zelda: Epona through the years

Zelda is one of my favorite game series of all time, and as a horse person, I had to write someting about Epona.

I grew up playing Zelda games, but as a handheld console player, I didn't really encounter Epona (well, almost) until I played Ocarina of Time on the 3DS. I knew she existed, however, and longed to finally play a game in which she was.

When I finally played OoT (as a young teenager), I was exhastic, and spent some time just galloping around across Hyrule, prefering her over teleporting. I also drew her a bunch of times, and all ths time obsessing over her lead me to one question: what's up with her design?

Ocarina of Time

The first appearance of Epona, not the least interesting by any means. She appears to be a silver bay mare (mane and tail are white, body is chestnut and legs are dark). She also posesses a strip on her head and four socks on her legs.

Her eyes are blue, which are unusual for a bay horse, but might indicate she's a spotted horse (?).

She can pass for a saddle horse in the N64 version, but looks a lot more like a draft horse in artworks: wide body and legs, strong croup and feathering on the legs.

Ironically, she doesn't look as large on her 3DS artworks as on her N64's, while it's the other way around for her in-game looks.

Majora's Mask

The design is just the foal design from Oot but there's one detail that made me pause as I looked at her artworks: her cloven hooves. It doesn't appear in game and is never seen before or after this artwork. Just a very surprising choice here.

Oracle of Seasons/Ages and Minish Cap

A horse resembling Epona appears briefly in the opening cutscene of Oracle of Seasons/Ages. She apears more chestnut and her mane seems darker as in previous games, but it's hard to conclude anything from just a few seconds of presence.

In the Minish Cap, Epona has a small appearence. She seems lighter, more chestnut with flaxen tail and mane than silver bay. She still has blue eyes.

Twilight Princess

It's here that things become a bit sad for me. While it can be argue that her legs are still slightly darker than her body, her black markings are clearly gone, and truly looks here like a chestnut horse. Her dark shade in her mane and tail are also gone. She also lost her blue eyes, for which I'm a lot less sad about.

Breath of the Wild

This entry confirms what I feared: her black markings are gone. However, her brown body is a lot darker than in TP, and it correspond more to that of a bay horse, which is a surprising compromise. Like all horses in this game, she's a lot wider than your usual sport horse, and while it could be argued for previous games that Epona could be a heavier sport horse, this makes it clear that she's a draft horse.

So what?

There are two things about Epona that I always loved: her coat and her build. And while I'm not a fan of her more recent appearances (give her her black markings back, dammit!), I love that the Zelda franchise decided to represent heavy horses.

Draft horses count among them most of my favorite races and they've been a bit forgotten once they weren't necesary anymore for driving and pulling.

In France, a lot of draft horse's breeds became meat horses during the 20th century, leading to heavier and heavier horses selected to preserve their breed. Which is a shame, because of of those breeds is the comtois, a breed I've always associated with Epona.

Comtois are most often chestnut with flaxen mane and tail, but some of them are silver bay. And lighter comtois horses are for me the closest horse to Epona we can find.